Musings, this that and da other thing

Jasmine, Jim, me

Had a CT scan, two weeks ago?  Maybe less.  Probably less, I tend to forget since it seems they are a common part of my life.  Two weeks, before Mother's Day.  I saw the doctor the Friday after.

It was an interesting visit.  The staff is all excited about me being able to do the Epic Experiences camp in Colorado ?

Plain and simple.  No.

I fell in love with the Rocky Mountains thanks to John Denver's music. There is just something about Rocky Mountain High that connected with me.  Just like his song Calypso.

Now  here is the strange part. I fell in love with John Denver's music because of a 1972 movie.  Sunshine.  A story of a young woman, who ended up with cancer in her leg (not sure if it is the right of left but if it was the left - we are getting in a really "cosmic" area".)  She started chemo, but didn't like what it did to her.  She wouldn't let them amputate, so she made her choice of death. Her husband, musician sang the music.

Now on to the discussion with Doctor Vaughn on Friday.  We were talking normal stuff, energy level, side effects.  How I feel otherwise.  He told me that I keep surprising him.  That is a really good thing.  He expected me to be on hospice care now.

Jasmine, me, Liz

That made me start thinking.  Maybe wanting to try to squeeze as much living in the time I have is helping?  Although I freely admit, I didn't do one damn adventure during the winter.  I hate being cold.  But if I am still around this coming winter and I have the means I will change that.  Maybe the girls and I can drive the south if I can afford it, and my 2004 Malibu is willing.  (Everyone post a number in comments, I will play them.  I have my monthly $3 for a lottery ticket waiting!)

I guess this whole thing is pretty damn serious.  I mean,  he really thought I would be in hospice!!  I would be dying, letting go of the hold I have on this life.  Maybe he thought the side effects would have beaten me to the point I would say enough.

It hasn't, but we are changing my chemo schedule to every 6 weeks, and those treatment will be around my bucket list schedule.  Seriously, he feels the same as I do.  I may as well enjoy as much as life as I can while I can.  Besides, all the chemo is for is to try to slow it down so I can enjoy it when I feel good.

Last May?  June?  July?  His best guess was 12 to 18 months.  Well that would leave 6 give or take, and considering he thought I'd be in hospice currently I think he actually thought less.

Currently my updated expiration is <12 months.  I'll take it.  I am looking at it as I have at least another 12 months to be the bane of everyone's existence. Maybe a bit longer if I play my cards right.
I choose to look at it this way, the best I can do is get more than 12 months.  The worst is anything less than 6.  I am shooting for more.

Besides, it is his best guess, and it seems I have proven  him wrong.

Liz, me, Jasmine