Seriously, am I? I am looking forward to having surgery. Major surgery.
I know in 2003 I went through 13 total surgeries with the tumor in the leg, and the skin grafts, but that wasn't cutting into the insides of me.
The innards, the soft stuff, the important stuff, where the heart, lungs, kidneys, stomach, intestines reside. To me that is major stuff.
Think about it, the first surgery will be the lung. I have no idea if I will wake up with any portion of my right lung left. And to access the lung because the size of the tumor (big as my fist) they cannot do the micro surgery, and yest the size of the tumor puts me in the category of Stage 3.
To access the lung, I will be laying on my left side, the surgeon will make the cut starting at my back just beyond under my arm, the incision will go across my ribs, he will break one of my ribs, and insert a spreader to access the lung, from there he will determine what happens. He thinks I will probably loose at least the upper lobe.
That isn't the half of it, lol! The tumor is wrapped around a main vein that feeds from the heart, the vein that pumps blood out into the system.
How does this come into play? Well if I am lucky the tumor will just be growing around the vein and not have the vein involved, (I have no idea what the name of the vein is, so If you know, please feel free to tell me) Any way if it is not involved the tumor will just peel off. Well if not, and it is involved, yeah, things are a litter less bright, they will debulk it and I will have to get radiation on that area, which I am not thrilled about, they will be cooking part of one of the girls I fear (yes, I am speaking of the twins, the tatas, the breasts, the titties). Not something I really want to do. And I will continue with chemo, again another aspect I don't want to go through.
More chemo, I think I have had quiet enough, thank you very much. I think I understand why I am looking forward to surgery, one it will answer what is going on in the lung and let me know what I have laying ahead, two I won't feel like nothing is happening, even though I know chemo and radiation are crucial in the treatment, three I am tired of feeling like crap, and angry. Angry things are progressing faster, I am losing patience with my self, well at least at this moment I am, give me a bit and I'll be back to the balance of acceptance and the progress, but for now I just want to get this going and it isn't going fast enough.
So there is a whine to go with your day. Yep, I am sitting in chemo again today.
Jean, I would love to bring some cheese and share that whine. You are in my heart and I just know that you will feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteFeel free to whine. You need to vent once in a while, too! Hugs to you and I hope you feel better quickly.
ReplyDeleteThe vein that goes into the heart on the right is the vena cava. The artery from the heart to lungs is the pulmonary artery. The vein from the lungs back to the heart is the pulmonary vein and the artery on the left side of the heart to the body is the aorta.
Five sparrows sell for two coins of small value, do they not? Yet not one of them goes forgotten before God. But even the hairs of your heads are all numbered. Have no fear; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7
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