Reflections on 2011

Well, it is 6 PM on New Year’s Eve, the dogs just finished their dinner, the house is very quiet, Jasmine is at work at the Log Cabin, Jim left to go out with some of his friends, Michelle and Evelyn went to church in their PJs.  OMG PJs!!

Here I sit, and have the urge to write.  But what to write about? I look back over the past year and I do not wish any of it changed.  Yes, it was a challenge; I think more of a challenge to those around me than to myself.

I have to admit, last New Year’s Eve I wasn’t even thinking that I’d be spending 2011 dealing with cancer and surgeries, hell, I was just hoping to get through the year with positive balance in my savings account.  (And yes I did that!  I have thirty-five cents in my savings account, isn’t much, but it is a positive!)

Last year I may have even thought I might have a date on New Year’s Eve, but life had something different in mind for me. 

Life doesn’t give you what you want, but it gives you what you need.  Sometimes I have to disagree with that statement. 

The reason being, a dear friend of mine lost her son in Afghanistan.  What mother needs that grief?  My heart breaks for her; she has faced the loss of her son with honor and dignity.  She has brought honor to his memory.  She is an incredibly awesome woman.

But when it comes to me, it seems that saying works.  The lessons it brings me aren’t always the easiest to take, and sometimes I wish that it would just bring me what I want (think winning lottery ticket and being a philanthropist).  But it is what it is.

In 2003 life brought me cancer, a time in my life when I really thought that the human race was comprised of two kinds of people, those who loved their pets and those who thought they were disposable, and those who would say what they thought you’d like to hear but not mean a word of it.  To be honest my heart was in a very dark place.

Back then it taught me that not everyone was like that, that there were people to genuinely care and wanted to help, and it taught me I was stronger than I ever thought I could be.

2011 I needed lessons again; at least life saw it that way.  But I don’t think I learned anything new, it just reaffirmed things I already knew.

I already knew I worked with the best bunch of people you could wish for, I mean how many people that YOU work with would shave their heads to show support and that they care?  Seriously.  You have no idea how that touched my heart.

My daughter chose to leave her life in California to be here with me, no one will know what that means to me, and I watched her grow as a woman.  She has been blossoming and becoming the woman and artist I always knew she was.

My son is working on his PHD.  And I am so proud of him, but nothing in the world can describe how I felt when he told me he was proud of me.  I don’t think anyone will ever understand how much that meant to me.

All of my friends with their cards and notes of support, letting me know that they were thinking of me, and my sister Carol with her bracelet campaign, and the notes and packages from Addie.

Yeah some of it was a bit rough, even gave the doctors a scare, but I survived it.  Got the scars to prove it.  Five surgeries this year.  Lost 2/3 of my right lung, two feet of intestine with two tumors, part of the right pectoral muscle and main nerve to the arm, but it was all worth it.  I am alive and I have a wonderful family and a great bunch of friends.

So, I may not be out to a fancy party with a date to ring in the New Year, but I am content in knowing that I have family and friends who love and are there for me.

Happy New Year everyone, May the New Year bring you health, happiness, prosperity and all that your heart desires.

Huh, maybe next year I'll have a date. ROTFLMAO!!