Having a sort of rough day

I woke up feeling ok.  Actually slept through the night.  Got up only once!  Seriously for me that is amazing.  I try to drink plenty of fluid to flush out the drugs.

But still I am having a rough day.  I know it is basically hormones gone crazy.  Long lasting drugs have long lasting effects.

I felt ok, then I turned on the TV.  What a shock.  So much negative things going on, so many people needing help.  I say my little prayer for everyone.  It is a simple one, may the world and all it's people know healing, both physical and mental, have a roof, and food.  But most of all develop the willingness to try to understand one another, accept we are not the change and learn to work together despite the differences.  Oh, and for me, I'd like to win $100,000.00 after taxes and giveaway to others.

So why is it a sort of rough day?  Regular life seems over whelming right now.  Actually, I feel better than I did a couple hours ago, I sat outside and listened to the birds and watched Bailey and Sasha run and play.  It helped calm my mind and emotions.

Still a bit overwhelmed.  Just by things that need done, lists that need completed, budgeting, needing a job.  I don't think the fact my left foot/leg still is swelling and aching.  They can't figure out why either. I don't think the limpy gimpy helps the job hunt.

A woman I know of (because I know her children) cancer is back.  They are draining her lung today.  I pray it goes well and somehow it goes away for her.

So many people with cancer.  So many with it coming back.  It is overwhelming.

I am stressing over health insurance too.  Cost.  It is going to go up, I know it is.  Do I stay with the Cobra for one more year or try for Medicare?  Social Security said, "OH, you are disabled!" but the disability payment doesn't start until December.  No back pay either.  You have to be out of work for 5 months.  The whole thing is a pain in the ass, but something is better than nothing.  And unemployment doesn't cover because of the disability.

Oh, and folks, just because someone gets disability, don't assume it is easy street.  If I pay for health insurance the mortgage/rent is short, or visa versa.  Not to mention other things like electric, water, gas, car insurance.  The only reason I say this is because of a comment someone made.  Oh, so you won't have to worry about anything once it kicks in.  No, people still have to worry, and scrimp and save.  So do me a huge favor, the next time you hear someone is on disability, have a bit of compassion for them and say a little prayer that somehow things work out for them.

Ultra sound showed no clots.  X-ray of the knee show a bit of arthritis.  X-ray of the foot and ankle showed a heel spur, which I had no idea was there, and some arthritis, which again I didn't know was there.  The top of the food aches and sometimes it feels like it is burning.  Oh, and the skin on the one side is sensitive.  You know the kind of sensitive that when you touch it is sorta hurts, but you touch it again just to make sure you felt it right?  Yeah, that kind.  You can't help but touch it.

Oh for the record, yes I did eat breakfast, so my off day isn't because of that, no I didn't drink as much water as I normally do yesterday, but I am no dehydrated.

Maybe it is just that damn achy foot.  After a while it can be irritating.

I think I am going to take a nap.  I feel tired.