First, let me get something off my chest. It drives be nucking futs when people refer to either a male or female that has a different viewpoint of sex as a "hoe". A hoe is a piece of gardening equipment, not a person with questionable sexual behaviors.
For the record, I believe that both males and females can qualify as a whore, it is not a gender specific thing.
Now that is out of my systems, let's get down to the different types of "Whore Baths". Yes, there are a few, at least the way I look at things, and I will define each (don't worry I'm going somewhere with this).
There is what I would define as the "quickie" whore bath, which I swear more females do, why else would a woman walk out of the house stinking of perfume? A "quickie" whore bath is when a female grabs a wash cloth, hopefully with some soap, washes her face, gives the netherworld a quick wipe or two, sprays a shit ton of perfume on, put on the make up and out the door.
Now why do I say that it seems lots of females do this? Just stand in line at a Starbucks in the AM, or the grocery, or just about any where. You smell the perfume before they walk in the flipping door!! Burns the eyes and nose.
Ladies, that is not attractive!! That does not make the male of the species want to get any closer to you than he would want to get to a stinking pile of steaming elephant dung.
One spray in the air, walk into it. A light barely there scent that is attractive. You don't have to smell it trust me it is there and others will. It will make you more attractive.
Second type of "Whore's" Bath. A tub full of hot water, a bar of soap, and a wash cloth. Dip the washcloth into the tub or basin, soap it up, wash your body, dipping and rinsing and soaping with the dirty water in your tub as you go along, consequently spreading dirty soap scum water all over. Yeah, not pleasant.
The third type of "Whore's" Bath is the microwaved, pre packaged deodorant wash clothes. They come with eight or ten in a bag. The instructions actually break down how to uses them. One for your face and neck, one for your right arm and hand, one for the left, and so on. They make sure there are two for the netherworld. One front and one back. But at least you feel refreshed, and your skin doesn't feel like ten layers of it was removed with the soap.
The third type of "Whore's Bath" is what I get to experience. You see, I am hooked up to the pump, and they have a portable heart monitor on me. In order to get a shower, I have to be disconnected from everything, and that requires a doctor's order. Yeah, you read it, a doctor's order.
The down side of showering here is the soap. It dries every inch of you up. So, I'm going to pack a "Just in case Jean goes to the Hospital" Bag. And in it make sure I have my soap, shampoo, and things that keep my skin feeling normal rather than like something stretched too thin.
So I get my "Whore's Bath" today, and when I was done I decided to use the shampoo in the little kit to wash my hair. My head and neck have felt like the muscles are wound tighter than an over wound watch. So I stick my head in the sink, turn the hot water on, and it felt like heaven. I could feel the muscles starting to give a little. So I soap up my hair, and it starts coming out in hand fulls. I clean out the sink, and keep running the water over my head and neck, and rubbing the hair, and it keeps coming out in hand fulls.
LOTS of hair came out. I now am sporting the splotchy bald patch look which I hate, so when I go home, which maybe tomorrow, I want to stop at a barber. I can't walk around like this.
Oh, the Telemetry people contacted my nurse and told him my hear rate went up and is still up, so they sent him to check, and there I am drying the splotchy head.
"That is why your heart rate is up!" Me: "Yep. But I'm done for now." "How long have you been washing your hair?" Me: "About twenty minutes, I have a lot of hair to come out." "I'll tell them." Me: "OKAY DOKAY".
Yes, the sink was full of my hair and I had to clean it out twice. Yes the sink was nice and clean when it was needed next.
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